On the Importance of Affirmative Therapy

Happy Wednesday, friends and followers! In case you missed our presentation at the OKC PFLAG meeting last night, we decided to go ahead and share the information here, too!

​I guess the best place to start is: ​what the heck is affirmative therapy? ​So glad you asked, reader! Affirmative therapy is an approach to therapy that goes beyond tolerance; affirmative therapy embraces LGBTQ identities and relationships as valid and positive, while simultaneously identifying and addressing the impact that bias and prejudice have on LGBTQ individuals.

As a therapist, this means I have to first reflect on and acknowledge any personal bias and privilege I bring to the table in this therapeutic relationship. It also means I need to assess my practice space to ensure that it is not just positive, but welcoming and safe for any individual, couple, or family that walks through my door. Another part of being an affirming clinician is staying competent! There is already a large disparity in the quality and competency of mental health treatment for LGBTQ individuals, and the last thing we want is for our clients to feel like they have to educate us before therapy can begin. So staying updated on correct language and best practices is always a priority at BEFS. Another aspect of being an affirming agency is advocacy. BEFS has always embraced advocacy for our clients as one of our moral pillars,

​Perhaps one of the most important parts of affirmative therapy is visibility. In Oklahoma, the number of outspokenly affirmative agencies is limited. I've experienced multiple agencies that quietly accepted LGBTQ clients, but were concerned that hanging a rainbow flag on their door would deter differently-minded clients from utilizing their services. I never understood the secrecy of being LGBTQ-friendly, and so our yearn for an openly affirmative space was born before we even knew there was a name for it, and it became the driving force behind BEFS opening its doors. We never started BEFS for the money, after all, we started BEFS to meet a need in our community for quality, competent, judgement-free services for the most vulnerable.

​Which brings me to what I imagine would be your next question: ​Okay, but why is affirmative therapy important?​ Well, let's talk  numbers. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) found that 42% of LGBTQ youth say their home community is not accepting. 26% of LGBTQ youth say their biggest problems are not feeling accepted by their family, experiencing bullying at school, and fearing being out and open. 92% of LGBTQ youth reported they hear negative messages about being LGBTQ from their school, the internet, and their peers. Do you see a trend? I do. Acceptance.​ LGBTQ youth are already 4x more likely to attempt suicide, experience suicidal ideation, or self-harm than their heterosexual, cisgender peers. Now couple being LGBTQ with the intolerance and rejection of their family members, and those youth are 8x more likely to attempt suicide than an individual who received support from their family. 

​Did those numbers scare you? They sure scared me. So that's why BEFS is an openly affirmative agency. If we miss out on a couple of referrals because of it, we're okay with that. It is more important for us to be accessible to youth, and part of that is visibility. More people are identifying as LGBTQ than ever before, and we are here for it. We want to be a hopeful, supportive place for all individuals to be able to learn skills to function and thrive. We want to be an agency of change. We want you to walk through our door and feel safe and confident being your most authentic self.