Hello all!

​April is a busy month for spreading awareness on so many different issues, one of which is Sexual Assault.
 
This topic has been so popular in the news and social media lately, due largely in part to the #MeToo movement. This phrase has been posted by numerous Hollywood celebrities and citizens of all ages along with a photo or story of their personal experience with sexual assault and/or sexual harassment. While talking about the assault that happened is painful for some, others feel empowered through sharing their story, bringing it to light, and helping other survivors feel supported.
 
#TimesUp is also trending at this time; this movement aims to spread awareness about sexual harassment and inequality in the workplace. Industries of all kinds have to look at their own policies and procedures when realizing how big of an issue this has become.
 
In my job, as a counselor who works with children in grades Pre-Kindergarten through 12th grade, I have seen firsthand how this massive social issue impacts not only adults, but also children from all backgrounds. It is not a woman’s issue or a University/college issue.
 
I would like to provide a little more information on what we are dealing with here and how you can help someone if they are victimized or have been victimized in the past.
 
What is Sexual Assault?
To begin understanding the depth of this issue in our country, we must define the problem. There are multiple scientific and/or legal definitions for what counts as sexual assault; however, the simple definition I prefer to use is “anything unwanted."

Unwanted touches, grabbing, groping, and/or words can all be categorized as sexual assault.

People often associate the words “sexual assault” with “rape.” While rape is certainly sexual assault, it does not always have to go that far to be considered inappropriate, illegal, or harmful.
 
How often is it happening and to whom?
Sexual assault can happen to ANYONE, regardless of gender, socioeconomic status, religion, sexual orientation, age, or education level.
 
According to RAINN, “every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, and every 8 minutes that victim is a child.” (If that statistic does not alarm you, I am not sure what will!)
 
In addition, sources state that adolescents and young adults are at the highest risk of sexual assault.
 
Majority of sexual assaults are committed by someone the survivor knows, not a stranger jumping out of the bush. (Yes, this does happen, but is much more rare.)
 
And though men and boys can AND are sexually assaulted, RAINN found that 9 out of 10 victims of rape are female.
 
How does Sexual Assault Impact Survivors?
Many survivors experience guilt, shame, fear, depression, sadness, anger, flashbacks, nightmares, eating disorders, sleeping problems, substance abuse, self-harming behaviors, or suicidal thoughts.
 
Who is to blame for sexual assault?
The perpetrator.
Survivors of sexual assault should never be blamed for what happened to them. Factors such as use of alcohol or drug-related substances, clothing choices, where they were, or who they were with at the time of the assault are not criminalizing nor do they excuse the offenders’ behavior!
 
How to Help a Sexual Assault Survivor
Believe them. Understand that reporting a sexual assault to anyone is difficult and survivors need to know they will be believed, especially by people in their support system. Avoid BLAMING questions/statements.

Support them. Aim to provide as much support as you can, without pressuring the survivor to do anything they do not want to do.

Help them understand that it is not their fault. If a survivor voices feelings of guilt or shame, help them understand that nobody asks to be assaulted and that the blame is the perpetrator’s alone.

Understand that not every survivor will want to report it. Reporting can be tough for survivors for many reasons, including shame, fear of retaliation, fear of not being believed, or fear of getting into trouble with law enforcement for unrelated issues. It is always the survivor’s choice on whether to report the assault or not.
​
Offer resources. Become knowledgeable of services available to survivors such as the National Sexual Assault Hotline 800.656.HOPE (4673) and online.rainn.org. In addition, there are numerous local agencies and organizations dedicated to helping survivors heal. Some of the services provided include, but are not limited to, sexual assault examinations, individual counseling, case management, support groups, and legal aid for those wanting to press charges.
 
Sexual assault can happen to anyone, but there is hope for healing.
 
https://www.rainn.org/
​

Happy Wednesday, friends and followers! In case you missed our presentation at the OKC PFLAG meeting last night, we decided to go ahead and share the information here, too!

​I guess the best place to start is: ​what the heck is affirmative therapy? ​So glad you asked, reader! Affirmative therapy is an approach to therapy that goes beyond tolerance; affirmative therapy embraces LGBTQ identities and relationships as valid and positive, while simultaneously identifying and addressing the impact that bias and prejudice have on LGBTQ individuals.

As a therapist, this means I have to first reflect on and acknowledge any personal bias and privilege I bring to the table in this therapeutic relationship. It also means I need to assess my practice space to ensure that it is not just positive, but welcoming and safe for any individual, couple, or family that walks through my door. Another part of being an affirming clinician is staying competent! There is already a large disparity in the quality and competency of mental health treatment for LGBTQ individuals, and the last thing we want is for our clients to feel like they have to educate us before therapy can begin. So staying updated on correct language and best practices is always a priority at BEFS. Another aspect of being an affirming agency is advocacy. BEFS has always embraced advocacy for our clients as one of our moral pillars,

​Perhaps one of the most important parts of affirmative therapy is visibility. In Oklahoma, the number of outspokenly affirmative agencies is limited. I've experienced multiple agencies that quietly accepted LGBTQ clients, but were concerned that hanging a rainbow flag on their door would deter differently-minded clients from utilizing their services. I never understood the secrecy of being LGBTQ-friendly, and so our yearn for an openly affirmative space was born before we even knew there was a name for it, and it became the driving force behind BEFS opening its doors. We never started BEFS for the money, after all, we started BEFS to meet a need in our community for quality, competent, judgement-free services for the most vulnerable.

​Which brings me to what I imagine would be your next question: ​Okay, but why is affirmative therapy important?​ Well, let's talk  numbers. The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) found that 42% of LGBTQ youth say their home community is not accepting. 26% of LGBTQ youth say their biggest problems are not feeling accepted by their family, experiencing bullying at school, and fearing being out and open. 92% of LGBTQ youth reported they hear negative messages about being LGBTQ from their school, the internet, and their peers. Do you see a trend? I do. Acceptance.​ LGBTQ youth are already 4x more likely to attempt suicide, experience suicidal ideation, or self-harm than their heterosexual, cisgender peers. Now couple being LGBTQ with the intolerance and rejection of their family members, and those youth are 8x more likely to attempt suicide than an individual who received support from their family. 

​Did those numbers scare you? They sure scared me. So that's why BEFS is an openly affirmative agency. If we miss out on a couple of referrals because of it, we're okay with that. It is more important for us to be accessible to youth, and part of that is visibility. More people are identifying as LGBTQ than ever before, and we are here for it. We want to be a hopeful, supportive place for all individuals to be able to learn skills to function and thrive. We want to be an agency of change. We want you to walk through our door and feel safe and confident being your most authentic self. 

As we near the end of Women's History Month, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on how mental illness affects the daily lives of so many women and what we can do as a community to better support each other moving forward.

​First, it's important to understand the alarming capacity at which women suffer from mental illnesses. Women are twice as likely as men to suffer from depression and anxiety at some point in their lifetimes. This could be due to various biological, social, and environmental factors. Women may face many biological transitions throughout their lives, including pregnancy, birth, or conditions such as PMDD that have the potential to acutely impact their mental health. Other factors include societal and cultural norms that result in women internalizing their emotions, or facing stressors such as caregiving, straying from traditional gender roles, or being victims of violence and abuse.

Increased accessibility to social media factors into this equation: with women already facing disproportionately higher rates of eating disorders and anxiety, studies have indicated that young women with unlimited access to social media platforms report higher feelings of depression and low self-esteem. Teenagers have more accessibility to the internet than ever before, and with Snapchat and Instagram highlight reels, it's hard enough for an adult woman to not feel insecure, let alone an adolescent trying to navigate her way through womanhood. Young girls who experience depression, anxiety, or suicidal ideation are frequently dismissed as "attention-seeking", which dangerously discourages them from seeking mental health treatment. 

​As women, the pressure is always on. The microaggressions women face every day only exacerbate internalized stressors. Now, combine that with the racism, negative stereotypes, and stigma that women of color face. While mental illness does not discriminate, women of color experience disproportionately adverse life experiences that affect their ability to have mental illness be assessed, identified, and treated competently. Women of color experience post-partum depression at a 2-3x higher rate than white women. Economic insecurity, shame, and institutional racism make accessing quality mental health treatment significantly more difficult for WoC, not to mention the lack of WoC in media representations of mental illness decreases visibility and contributes to the already innate shame and stigma associated with mental illness.

​Another intersection of women and mental health includes the disparity of competent, quality care for our lesbian, bisexual, and trans sisters. LGBTQIA individuals are already at increased risk for homelessness, violence, and dying by suicide. Studies show that trans youth indicate their biggest stressor is unacceptance by their families and friends, while cis youth report their biggest stressor to be academic performance. Studies also show that trans youth without peer or family support are 82% more likely to consider or attempt suicide. 

​So how do we make things better for each other? It starts with awareness: having open, honest discussions about mental illness. Creating increased accessibility to quality mental health services that are culturally competent and affirming. Early intervention in our youth who may be struggling with mental health issues. Contacting our legislators and urging them to make access to quality healthcare in all communities a priority. Developing and implementing preventative strategies in school systems. Being mindful and confronting our own innate prejudices to better support ALL women. Armed with a better understanding of some of the factors that contribute to women's mental health, we can start to work towards taking better care of ourselves and each other. 

Thanks for reading, and we hope you check back in here soon for more posts on mental health, community resources, and BEFS updates! 

Happy Spring! BEFS has had a busy week with no signs of slowing down as we head into April. We wanted to drop in and share some of the things we've been up to lately!

​Last week, we did a big marketing push with primary care doctors and psychiatrists in our area to try to improve accessibility to referrals for their adolescent patients in need of more consistent outpatient treatment. We know there are teens and young adults who slip through the cracks, and part of our mission is to catch those individuals by making the referral process more accessible and consistent. 

​If you are a physician and are interested in meeting with us to add to your referral list, you can e-mail us at [email protected] or call us at (405)810-5554 and we can set up a time to meet or drop off some materials.

Last weekend, BEFS attended the March For Our Lives in Oklahoma City. Part of our mission is to support the youth in our community, so it was important for us to show up for them this weekend! We were so impressed and inspired by the organization, articulation, and leadership demonstrated by the teens who put the March together, we can't wait to see where the future takes them! 

In upcoming news: BEFS was asked to speak at April's PFLAG meeting in Oklahoma City about the importance of affirmative therapy when working with LGBTQIA individuals. We are so excited for this opportunity to discuss something we are so passionate about! The national PFLAG website is a great resource for LGBTQIA individuals and their friends and families, while the local group meetings are a great opportunity for peer support or to share your unique journey in a safe space. If you are a parent of an LGBTQIA youth and aren't sure how to adequately support them, a PFLAG meeting is a perfect place to start!

​Click here to learn more about April's PFLAG meeting in OKC!

That's all the updates we have for now! Keep checking back as we will be posting some useful resource information on this page soon. 

​And as always, if you or your teen is struggling with their mental health, contact us today by phone, email, or our submission form on this website to schedule an assessment!

Welcome! This page will be designed specifically to help improve accessibility to resources for our community, as well as to provide updates on happenings at BEFS. We hope you follow along and thank you for your patience as we work on getting content for this page up and running!

​In the meantime, here's a brief history of how Bright Eyes Family Services came to be:

​Becky and Falon met as coworkers for the same counseling agency in 2012. After years of collaborating care on client caseloads, they became friends and trusted colleagues, founding and co-facilitating a therapy group for teenage girls from around the Oklahoma City metro while continuing to provide individual therapy, behavioral health rehabilitation, and case management services. 

​A need was identified for services targeted specifically at adolescents and young adults, who experience unique periods of transition between the traditional treatment demographics of "child" and "adult". The duo also noticed a stark lack of affirmative therapy options for LGBTQ+ youth in their area. To address this gap in competent services, Becky and Falon decided to start their own mental health counseling agency, and in 2015 Bright Eyes Family Services became an official LLC.

By treating adolescents and young adults as their own category, clients are able to receive services that address their unique needs as they struggle with depression, anxiety, self-esteem, and more in a space that is safe and supportive. Using an approach that is neither sterile nor judgmental, Becky and Falon are able to connect with their clients in a way that is both professional and personal. 

​The hope for BEFS moving forward is to stand out as a different kind of counseling agency by increasing accessibility to quality mental health services while advocating and educating to reduce the stigma attached to mental illness and mental health treatment.